Friday 3 December 2010

random update

16 nov- i finish my last a level paper
i complete my A level course
no longer sciences subject for me...
after this,i'll b a business student...
1 n a half year past...
everything end...
course end,games end,time we spend together end...

19 nov-after few days bored holiday...
Mg finish her exam...
we go malacca...enjoy our trip...
on d same day...yu hua graduation day...
i juz notice i leave yu hua for 2 years...

26 nov-our last trip...to singapore...
4 days 3 nights trip ends...
many place v visit...
many things we try
many things we eat...
n many $$ we spend...

1dec-d last destination...steamboat n i-city...
photo snapping...but...after this...nothing left besides memory...

Thursday 21 October 2010

Sarah Connor- Love is color-blind (Lyrics)

latest update bout my life...

after rendering service...
i am just keep busying with my exam..
then it comes LTC...
i know many people there...
the most important is i have fun there...
though keep busying and it's tiring...
but i enjoy it...
this make me closer to exco and those council member...
i really hope it's a chance of bonding between us...
some photo during LTC
son,chang meng
 buddy,nicholas
 STACT group
 wif my group
 wif LEOs...
 sifu,tsiang




Tuesday 12 October 2010

sun...1st time joining rendering service

going rendering service wif stact...
on 10.10.10...leave inti at 10...end our service at 10.10...
total service hour is 10 exclude d lunch time...
it's fun n happy...
i get noe many ppl...
get 2 play...
n get noe tat i'm oredi old...
hehe
throughout whole event...
i enjoy the time in old folks home the most...
mayb bcoz i actually not reli like child...
or wat else reason...
but i stil get fun thr...
in the orphanage...
my group get the 2nd prize...
haha...
on d way bak...
the bus cum late bcoz of d accident tat happen on d highway...
it seems reli serious when i notice all those news today...
v too go 4 dinner in mcd...
haha...
juz like a little gathering for youth camp ppl...haha...
reli have fun...
but is bit tired...
haiz...

Sunday 10 October 2010

busy

busy for exam...
busy for intima...
going out wif arthur for farewell...
going out to celebrate ppl bday...
alot of ting i hav done...
they cum kjg n hav fun wif us..
it's almost near d exam...
wonder if i can get gud result...
wonder if i can continue hanging out wif frens...
wonder if how long thr is 4 us 2 gather together...
wonder if...
alot of stuff waiting me to do...
alot of ting waiting me to decide...
but...
how i'm going to do it in a short period...
1 word tat i can use to describe my current life is juz busy...

Monday 20 September 2010

juz bit update

rushing here...time not enuf...
but got 2 write bit bit here too...
going 4 OLE last fri n sat...
noe more ppl...
is syok actually....
but got a dark dark fella cum kacau...
i hate it!!!
reli shit!!!
finally i noe y carol scare of dark dark fella dy...

oredi finish break dy...
aiks...
1st day duty in intima...
reli duno wat 2 do act...
haiz...
so much ting tat i got 2 settle...
time not enuf...
i hope i reli can use up all my time...
haiz...more time 4 me pls....
act i oso duno wat i'm writing...
but juz 1 2 find a place to bla bla bla jek....hehe....

Monday 6 September 2010

lost momentum~

a week ago...
i come here bla bla bla...
one week past...
i'm not really know what i have done...
but the most obvious thing is that i didnt do revision...
though i know that there no much time left...
i can even concentrate on my revision..
keep falling asleep...
i hope can sleep more...
but as what eeli usually say...
time is not enough...
really not enough...
i like hanging out with friends...
but there's not much time left...
i like yam cha...
i like chit-chatting...
i like go watching movie...
i like sing k...
i like playing bowling...
i like driving car go where else..
i like so much thing...
and...
there's none that i can do now...
just because...
there's not much time left...
1 month more going to have A2 exam...
but i seems not yet even finish revise...
stat...just start...
maths...no confidence at all...
chem...tomorrow is going to have test...but i'm not really confidence...
bio...i don't know even what i have revise...
what happen on me?
i really like lost the momentum to continue...
is it because i know what i am going to choose will not be affected by this result?
or i use too much energy on AS?
i even don't know myself...
haiz...
just hope that god bless me n my friends tomorrow la...
all the best guys...

Friday 27 August 2010

random update

for this 2 weeks...
i also don't know what i am doing...
seems like very busy...but actually is busy playing...
16 mon-go celebrate fion birthday...get her a shock...
actually i enjoy this kind of celebration...but unluckily...my 19th bday is nothing even without a cake...no celebration but at least there's bday wishes...thx dude...
for the few days after that...
v just keep studying bio and so on...
sat21-planning going to service mum's car...
but unluckily fully book...
then i fetch ah ma n sayli go sg.wang walk walk lor...
i promise them to fetch them at 11...
but i sleep till 11++...
may be cause the day before i sleep at 6++ ba...
really felt sorry about it...
for sure snapping photo again...
and i love my lunch @ kim gary..syok...
then it comes sun22-eeli n i go 30 hour famine countdown at bukit jalil...
erm...overall is fun...
after the 30 hour famine countdown...
suddenly those stact fella suddenly got such good mood go KL to have their dinner...
and i follow them too...
really dont know why i'll do such thing...
go to TGI friday...
the food is not bad la...
but expansive and too much for us...

this weeks comes...
i didn't really go out this week...
tue morning i fetch my sis go back to TARC and service the car at toyota centre...
i thought i'll lost there...
but it's just very simple way to go...haha...
wed night...it's really tiring...
the next day is maths mid-term test...
actually i didnt prepare well...
so i guess when my result come out...
sure bye bye lor..
thu night dont know why i'll follow eeli go tian hao's family gathering...OMG...
i think i already ki xiao..
then after coming back...
just rushing for assignment cause got to pass up today...
actually i miss those day when i'm staying at hostel...
not going out so often...
save money...
and for sure can study hard...
my own conclusion : my ability to study is based on studying environment..

Saturday 14 August 2010

oredi 6th week for this sem...

this is my last sem for A level in inti...
this wed...
i still went for movie as usual..
then rushing back home to fetch my sis to tuition before i leave my home to inti...
after packing and settle all my things...
it's around 6.30+...
then i fetch my sis to tuition...
reaching inti at 7+...
then go to meet kim and geik they all at pizza...
1st time i drive to KLIA myself...
it's really syok though i don't know they way...
just follow the board will do...
taking photo at airport...
then leave...
only for 1 hours 18 minutes,the parking fee is rm6.50...
still owing mui geik...
paiseh leh...
then the way back...
mui geik is the one who driving...
actually her skill not bad de...
just dont know what she scare...
then..she suddenly very got form...
fetch us go nilai spring...
that's the way we pass through the night before taking AS result...

it was really tiring...i straight away sleep after i get back to room...
then the next day morning...
i get my result...
it's just same as my forecast...
i didn't feel happy or sad at all...
just normal...
but it makes me don't know which field should i choose...
really makes me BLUR~

thu night...
we just sleep til 8++ only wake...
then go for dinner...
this is the 1st time i had my dinner for more than1 hour...
i really cant accept it...
omg..
then we go search for watching meteor...
but we wait till 12 to 1+...
still not yet see it...
then we go back to hostel...
so sad...
i go finish my remaining homework...
it takes me till 3...
go back sleep...
and again....
i'm the earliest to sleep...
hehe

fri...
i face a mental and physical problem...
but now things settle...
i just hope i can be tougher...
no more tears...
no more complaint...
no more playing...
all the best to you guys,dude...

Monday 9 August 2010

被遗弃、被嫌弃、被抛弃...

最近的我...
才发现...
原来不被重视的感觉...
是那么的痛...
每当别人看到你时...
嘴里总是问着其他人...
那种感觉...
真的让我觉得掉进谷底...
感觉上...
就没有重视过你...
感觉上你就是有义务必须随传随到...
大家都认为你所做的都是应该的...
没有人需要在乎你的感受...
没有人需要明白你...
那种不被重视的痛...
不是割伤的痛...
而是寒冷...
被风刺痛...
也许一直以来的我...
就是那么的自我中心...
那么的不可理喻...
我的存在...
让别人有渴望宁静...
而希望我离去的感觉...
我...应该离去...
离开这需要宁静的城市...
直到永远...
让大家...
过着平静的生活...
我的离去...
是给你们最好的安慰..
再见了,朋友们~

again having fun...but smtg horrible cuming...

last week...only tue i'm staying at home..
the other days stay at inti...
wed stay at inti after class...
as usual...
wed is my movie day...
use alot money eat eat n buy buy...
sure got to do homework also la...
cause too tired...
just finish few sentence...
go back sleep already lor...
then...
wed just use up too much money and watch SALT...
nice movie...

thu...
as usual go class till 4...
then...
go back sleep if not mistaken...
night all go for dinner together...
then we go sing k for 2 hours...
twice in a week...
haha...
after finish sing k...
when going back...
meet sam...the mc of 30 hour famine...
he's going to leave the next day...
so go sing k with them lor...
continuously...
i play for 5 hours++
it's damn tired but happy...
after sing k...
we go meet daddy(kenny)...
pity him...that time only he's going to have his dinner...
cham cham...
then go snap photo with them along the way back...
i go back at around 2++...
but yet don't know why i cant fall asleep...
i keep my eye open til 4 only i get sleep...

the next day class is 8am...
then...
it's extremely tiring...
after class..
i go take my forcast result...
it's not what i want but is what i should get...
though it's the fact...
but i really feel sad...
especially when my bio teacher tell me i'm going to get B for my fav subject...
it's extremely hurt...
and make me do this decision...
if i really get B for my bio...
i'm going to give up my medic...
and going to take IB...

although almost all the people beside me advise me to take medic and never give up...
but i really not dare to take the risk...
it's for my future...
i really scare i'll regret...
tired of making decision...
damn tired!!!
no long have confidence in taking medic..
i'm going to get my result on thu...
i have completely no idea what i want to be and who i am...
what should i do???

Wednesday 4 August 2010

Birthday present to didi...

[ENG SUB] 大嘴巴  Da Mouth - Happy Birthday 買滴兒 (Happy Birthday My Dear) MVthis present is to my dearest didi,bing hao...haha...18th birthday...hope he enjoys his life and don't be so shy dy la...like that when can i get my sister-in-law jek...haha...anyway hope you are oweys in pink of health...

busy from last thu...

last week...
keep planning for angie's farewell party...
but it seems not really success...
really got to thank little pig,peng soon and others that help to organise that very much...
actually their contribution is much more than me...
haha...sad...
thanks for those who are coming also...
though it's not really that success...
but there's fun too...

my own timetable from last thursday is really pack until today...
last thursday night...
since i join 30 hour famine camp as a facilitators...
i go for faci training so i stay at inti...
the faci training end at about 11++...
when i o back to geik's room...
kim has already go home...she sick already...
i got to change plan...cause besides me,she know the plan well...
then i go down N-block for rushing my assignment...

the next morning...friday...
8am class...omg...extremely tired...
after go home...go secret receipe to work...
until 8pm...finally can go home...
but i got to rush to angie's farewell party as didi got 2 rush for his friend's birthday party...
keep chit chatting and playing there...
and so unluckily...
my toe get injured...haiz...
chit chat until 11++pm...
then i go home and pack my things...
after settle all things...i think is around 12...
rushing to inti...i really don't know my car able to reach inti in 25 min...
then...help them out with their hall decoration till 2++am...
go for sleep at 3...

the next day more syok...
wake up at 5++...
then go for breakfast with those stact member at 6++
go back at around 7...
then waiting for the participants to come...
my group gets all girls...
and better i don't forget to introduce my partner...
else later they get mad...
CJ and my zai zai,chang meng...
get high...keep playing and have fun there during the 2 days camp...
though is hungry but we enjoy...
the most that i enjoy sure is the night la...
as a yu hua member...we are being known as like dancing very much...
haha...

sun...the camp has end...
my cutie and beautiful daughter all go back already lor...
keep taking photo...
even more busy compare to that time become a PM...
haha...
i get know more people...
it really makes me happy...
at the end of the camp...
there's countdown section...that part more syok...
i saw some of them throwing the bread o...haha...
after it end...we go for steamboat together...
fion,shim ni,hui xin,kenny,tee siang,cj,jian,jy,kay pau,chang meng,bing hao...
in 2 cars...go for stemboat...
really syok...
but i kena bully and no ice-cream allowed...
sad sad...
if got chance go there again...i sure eat double...haha...
then...rushing back inti again...
due to traffic jam...we reach inti at 11+pm...
den i rush back home lor...
may be cause too tired...
don't know how fast i drive...
and even how far i drive...
reach home then go sleep...

mon...
go for class...
then keep rushing for homework and report...
after class...rushing for assignment and report again...
then go sing k with stact member again...
celebrate bing hao's birthday...
free sing k,free drinks,free wine...syok syok...
sumore i get 1 more new daddy(kenny) and tee siang teach me to take photo...
get fun and get skill...reli syok...
till 2++...
go back...continue doing my homework til 4++...
tue morning go for class and finally get rest...yes!

Thursday 22 July 2010

19 july to 21 july...

19 july...
mum's bday...go out 4 dinner n cum bak...
on9...den sleep...
ntg special...

20 july...
erm...
i promise jian i'll join 30 hours famine...
den tis is d day i go work in OAR...
can count as syok...
sumore in d morning...
when v r going 4 class...
i try on a car for 200km/hrs...
it's reli fast...
but mayb is d car stability vy gud..
din feel much...
n i try finish my hw in a short time...
but...
i takes me longer...

21 july...
my turn 2 drive 2day...
plan stay thr 2 discuss d chem...
but pass up dy...
so no nid discuss...
den go 4 mcd wif coursemate...
nite...
plan 2 go out at 6 2 buy d ticket 4 inception...
but i sleep until 6.37pm..
i duno y i'm so tired...
but i get enuf rest 4 tat...
n i only take 10 to 15 min to reach the mines from jalan bukit...
at d skul released time...
i like inception tat movie...
reli like it vy much...
is worth 4 paying 6.00 for tat movie...syok...
and last but not least...
HAPPY BIRTHDAY 2 ANGIE~

Sunday 18 July 2010

回到过去

hope 2 get bak 2 previous...
if i could...
i wil share bit much more time with my grandchildren...
just now visit someone profile...
through this only i notice...
the have much more memory compare to us...
and i not even share part of my time with them...
even yang yang,my guai zai seems already sick...
i also know through facebook...
how sad it is...
reli miss them so much...
miss you guys...

start busy...fall sick pulak

2nd week oredi over...
is going 2 3rd week...
headache,cough,running nose all cum 2 me...
i almost die coz of it...
running nose make me cant breath...
cough make my ears block...
haha...
reli is fren...

suddenly got tis kind of feeling...
i noe i'm going 2 leave inti soon..
i noe i'll regret if i miss any event again...
but i cant hold event any more...
going 2 hav A2 exam...
so..
i decide 2 join as participants...
juz like 30 hour famine...
no matter how...
i'll join...
coz i dun1 regret...
i 1 2 keep my memory in inti full...
tis is wat i promise myself...

Thursday 15 July 2010

wednesday...erm...a tired day...

actually today i finish class at 1pm
cause we have promised shugan that we will stay back and help in the golden lecturer award...
so...
after struggling for 4 hours continuously...
having our lunch
then start doing maths assignment at block E...
this make us stay there for duno how many hours...
is about 4...
we go MPH for the event...
what we do is just registeration thing...
i get know 1 freshman in inti...
but this person...
aiks...
you know what she did lor...carol...
haiz...
the world has changed...
长江后浪推前浪,前浪死在沙滩上...
that's why...
we have to adapt to the environment change in a fast speed...

Tuesday 13 July 2010

simple n easy...

these few days...
duno how many movie i watch...
how many place i go..
how many joy i hav wif all my frenz...
how many money i earn from my salary...
it's reli fun...
start from kim bday...
i go tanjung sepak...
den go bagan lalang...
den next day go watch movie wif frens 2 celebrate kim's bday...
den sat go work...
2day is juz tue...
i go 4 another movie...
it's reli fun n relax...
syok keep playing...
but how if i dun hav time 2 settle down myself n prepare 4 my A2 which is extremely important 4 me...
aiks...
settle down!!!
 i got 2 settle everyting down...
start doing revision pls...
stop acting stupid thr...
u noe tat u r d 1 who got 2 face d result...
u r ntg if u cant get gud result...
u shud understand tis....
come on!!!start study!!!!!!!!!!!!
dun b lazy pig!!!

Thursday 1 July 2010

where is my elder brother n sister?

juz now...
accidentally i saw sumone profile...
i saw d peron family photo...
tat meake me tink of my family...
tink of myself...
y i shud b d eldest?
I NID CARE FROM D ELDER!!!
it's reli too tired 2 bcum d eldest at home...
everybody 1 u 2 b a role model...
everybody 1 u 2 teach ur youngers...
everybody 1 u 2 guide them 2 d right path...
everybody put high expectation on u...
everybody 1 u 2 take care of them...
everybody 1 u 2 b d most responsible 2 ur family...
everybody expect u 2 tink n sacrifice 4 ur family...
IT'S RELI TIRED!!!I HATE IT!!!
from d photo post...
i reli eager for a elder bro or sister that can help me 2 take away d burden...
i hate tat type of pressure...
i hate 2 tink of so much ting...
y d youngest can get much care from parents?
n no burden at all for them...
they no nid 2 do decision...
no nid 2 tink too much of others...
no nid 2 giv up anyting as wat they 1 wil b given...
tats y...
tats y i hate 2 b d eldest!!!
even though how many da jie i called...
how many gor gor i called...
it's still useless...
as d problem din solve n it's juz a consule...
it's reli stress..STOP TAT!!!STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bagan lalang trip...

原本以为event review之后应该会心情不好...
但是刚刚相反...
之后还3辆车一起去baganlalang...
 在附近吃烧鱼...
 其实并没有拍到什么照片...
但是...
还蛮开心的...
上个sem一直吵着要去的地方...
竟然是跟STACT club 的人去...
之后...
就有个小孩跟我们一起谈天到隔天的5点早上...
还真的有够刺激...
还是要感谢你们...
让我的假期变得比较充实...
谢谢...

Saturday 26 June 2010

memorable camp during sem break...

Tis is d only 1 tat i feel is memorable through sem break...
but...
d camp has end..
everything end...
no more 12 hours meeting...
no more skipping meal..
no more meeting each others...
no more chit-chatting...
no more supper together...
no more no sleeping...
no more busy-ing...
no more sharing tings...
during tat period...
wat i did is keep blaming...
but now..
reli miss it...
miss those time tat v busy until no sleeping...
miss the time v go mcd 4 breakfast 6 ppl in a car..
miss those time v hav jokes...
miss those time v playing together...
d most tat i miss is during d period b4 d camp start...
v prepare til late nite...
but...
many memory in my mind...
mayb tat's bcoz thr's a long time i din hold event like tis...
i reli like it vy much...
i miss it...
i make me tink tat it's not a mistake 2 join tis event..
but a chance 4 me 2 learn n noe more ppl...
mayb thr's arguement during d preparation of tat camp...
but after tis...
all i can say is...
it's only part of d memory...
summore suddenly get 1 bro n 1 son in tat camp...
can count as not bad la...
they're also pm o...
though pm is not an easy job or can say as task...
thr's lots memory inside...
especially when d part tat i in-charge get agreement from others...
tat makes me feel extreme happy...
make me no regret joining d event...
summore i hope can hold event wif them next time...
hope can keep in touch...
MISS THE CAMP SO MUCH!!!

Friday 4 June 2010

for those i noe...

time flies...
i'm going 2 finish my 2nd last sem in inti...

for fren in inti
tis sem...
less communication...
less dining time...
less chit-chat time...
less nite nite...
less yam chaing...
less watch movie...
less photo snapping...
less enjoying...
less party...
everything bcum less n less...
not blaming my frens but myself...
less fun...
not bcoz of u all...
juz bcoz of me...
many ting happen on me...
though oredi few...reli few ppl noe...
but duno y i even hope tat there's none...
i hope can live in own world...
tats y a big change after cny...
i hope i can handle everyting myself...
i noe i got 2 grow...
not longer dependent...
tats y...tats y...
sorry frenz...
i noe i'm less cooperative tis sem...
reli sorry...
writing tis not bcoz 1 2 show u guys anyting...
or 1 2 explain anyting 2 u guys...
or 1 2 defence myself...
juz vy easy 2 say sorry...
tats all i would like 2 tel u guys...reli sorry 2 u all...

for my classmate n frens in kjg...
mayb u guys realize i hav change after stay at inti for my 3 sem...
mayb i seems not reli like previous...
mayb u guys tink tat i hav change in my altitude...
i'm sorry 2 say i wont deny...
coz i noe i hav make u guys unhappy wif my talk/speech or even my action...
reli sorry...
din hope u guys can forgive me...
juz giv myself a chance 2 apologize 2 u guys...
mayb i hav done smtg tat hurt u guys...
i noe no matter how...
thr'll b scar after treatment...
but for wat i hav done i cant change...
but i juz feel so sorry if hurting u guys wif my words...

last...
sure is for my family...
though i noe they wont read tis...
but i oso got 2 apologise to them...
coz they r d most tat i hurt...
mayb my sibling r naughty sumtime but i oso done smtg tat they not agree...
y can i juz 4giv them since they can?
now only i tink bout tis...
y tis is only d time???
bout my mum n dad...
i believe i do hurt them b4...
but i noe they r trying themselve 2 4giv me...
y not same wif me?
y i cant 4giv their mistake or try 2 understand their action 4 certain purpose?
i'm reli sorry...
sorry~

i'm sure u guys wil ask wat happen 2 me...
y suddenly write smtg like tis?
if i tel u guys juz a movie...
i learn many theory thr...
i noe life is not as wat v prefer...
is not as wat v want n wat v imagine...
tats y...
i dun1 2 regret when it lost...
tats y...

Saturday 22 May 2010

如果你爱我,就别随便对我说“我爱你”....

如果你爱我,就别随便对我说 “我爱你” ♥

还记得在一起时,
常常都能听见你对我说“我爱你”
那时候的我很开心,
也觉得好甜蜜,好幸福,
总觉得这样天天听你对我说一句“我爱你”
是世界上最最幸福的事情了...
那时候的我,
就喜欢天天要你对我说句“我爱你”
听不烦,听不厌,也听不腻,
你也不在意天天对我说句“我爱你”
每天晚上睡觉前的那一通电话,
最后一句就是我爱你...
但渐渐地才发现,
你对我说的那一句我爱你,
不再是我想要的那一句我爱你了,
你口中的我爱你就好像是个名词,
更像是你的口头禅了,
虽说我爱你,
但却没有一点的意思,
也没有一点点的感情...
而我似乎也厌倦了你的那一句我爱你,
或许你说得很有感情,
也代表着你对我的心意,
但在我听来,
已经没有从前的意义了...
终于明白,
我爱你不是一句他想听就说的话,
更不是一句我想说就说出来的话...
因为我爱你这一句话很神奇,
时常说的人只会把它当成口头禅,
时常听的人只会觉得厌倦,甚至烦,
不常说我爱你的人,说出我爱你特别动听,
不常听我爱你的人,会觉得我爱你很有意义...

我爱你的意义,
不在于怎么说,而是在于怎么做

如果你爱我,就别随便对我说“我爱你”....

Monday 26 April 2010

简简单单?

简单?复杂?
记得我常说...
有人的地方就有是非...
有争执...
其实这是以前一个senior告诉我的...
这么多年来...
我观察并相信这是事实...
在中学生涯...
我学会什么是心机...
什么是手段...
什么是心理战术...
这些都是在社会生存的条件...
但是我希望自己可以单纯一点...
简单一点..

temporary close~

due to exam period...
no update from 2nd of may to 10 of june unless thr's ting 2 b shared...
anyway thx 4 support n thx 4 ur time reading it..
wil b bak soon...
for those who r having exam as me..
gud luck...gambateh...never giv up til d end....
for those who r not...
wish u guys healthy...do take care...
c u guys soon....

Monday 19 April 2010

Save our earth...it's sick!!!

GoGreen T-Shirt ..Pre-Order


(click to enlarge)

Dear Readers,

Please Support Go Green With US !
Contribute to Go Green!
Together we support Go Green.

Our GoGreen t-shirt are now available for pre-order

Please send your order to tilldend01@gmail.com together with order details (size, quantity, full name, contact details)


We will only do the printing once there is min. of 50 orders.

Pricing :
1 for RM13nett
2 for RM25nett

Size : S/M/L

" Together we Support Go Green "
 
guys,gals...let support together to prove that v love our earth...
no more hurting it!!!
 
paste from: http://ahteh.blogspot.com/2010/04/gogreen-t-shirt-pre-order.html

Friday 16 April 2010

珍惜...

这一篇...
是特别给大姐的...
那天看到他竟然为了你...
费尽心思...
为了你的成绩...
很努力地帮你做笔记...
我就知道...
他对你的好..
不是每一个人都可以做到...
所以...
大姐...
感情是两个人 维持下去的...
好好珍惜你们之间的关系...
真的非常希望你们可以一直走下去...
但是...
你的成绩千万别走下波...
考试要到了...
加油!

Thursday 25 March 2010

面对现实!!!

现在的天气=现在的心情
今天...
证明了...
我真的不能...
没有能力把化学给考好...
当然...
这样...
也破了我的梦...
终于...
从梦中把我救醒...
证明我真的不行...
应该放弃自己的奢望...
离开自己设下那完美的梦境...
脚踏实地...
好好往我的强项而非兴趣去...
but i'll stil giv a try before i giv up as i promise miss yap n ah ma....
teacher...
do i make u dissapointed?
feel extreme sorry 2 miss premah...
she teach so hard...
but yet i cant study well in this subject...
Miss Premah...
sorry~

paste from jared's blog...

这些话好帅,经典得让人心痛

1.对自己好点,因为一辈子不长;对身边的人好点,因为
下辈子不一定能够遇见!
2.对不起是一种真诚,没关系是一种风度。如果你付出了真诚,却得不到风度,那只能说明对方的无知与粗俗!
3. 如果你知道去哪﹐全世界都會為你讓路。
4.我喜欢你,很久了,等你,也很久了, 现在,我要离开,比很久很久还要久......
5. 纯,属虚构 。乱,是佳人。
6.一个人只有一个心脏,却有两个心房。一个住着快乐;一个住着悲伤。不要笑得太大声,不然会吵醒旁边的悲伤。
7.世界上最远的距离 不是树与树的距离 而是同根生长的树枝 却无法在风中相依
8.苹果最光辉的一刻就是砸在牛顿头上!
9.爱情使人忘记时间,时间也使人忘记爱情。
10.分手就是不爱了,那些冠冕堂皇的理由,不是想让对方好过,而是想让自己好过点!
11. 生活累,一小半源于生存,一小半源于攀比。
12.不要让太多昨天占据你的今天!
13. 如果说美貌是推荐信,那么善良就是信用卡!
14. 不吃饭的女人这世上也许还有好几个,不吃醋的女人却连一个也没有。
15.失去的东西,其实从来未曾真正地属于你,也不必惋惜。
16. 无论多豪华的婚礼都不代表幸福婚姻,两个人终生相处和睦与否和筵开几席、多少首饰全无关联。
17.如花美眷,也敌不过似水流年
18. 广告就是告诉别人,钱还可以这么花
19.小三,除法中的余数而已
20.人生的大部分时间里,承诺同义词是束缚,奈何我们向往束缚。
21.力的作用是相互的,除了爱情的力量。
22. 许多人在重组自己的偏见时,还以为自己是在思考。
23.生活中有太多无可奈何的选择。社会就像江湖,总是让人身不由己,言不由衷。
24.我们都是远视眼,模糊了离我们最近的幸福。
25.原来那么爱我的你和那么爱你的我都停滞在曾经的时候,爱情就结束了.
26.你若先走了,转身时就不要怪我也在背对着你
27.只要你的脚还在地面上,就别把自己看得太轻;只要你还生活在地球上,就别把自己看得太大。
28. 如果你要考验我的耐心,请先把你的耐心准备好。
29. 每个人都是单数...来时是...去时也是.....
30.在我们的爱情里,我一直扮演爱你的角色,分手时别问我为什么分手,问问你自己。
31.人生---下课啦..放学啦..放假啦..毕业啦..混够啦..老啦..后悔啦..死啦...
32.不能在一起就不能在一起吧,其实一辈子也没那么长...
33.古时候就有外星人的记载,因为丈二和尚摸不着头脑
34.一个人身边的位置只有那麽多,你能给的也只有那麽多,在这个狭小的圈子里,有些人要进来,就有一些人不得不离开
35.很多人,因为寂寞而错爱了一人,但更多的人,因为错爱一人,而寂寞一生
36.你可知 上天是不公平的 你可以選擇 愛我 或者 不愛我 而我卻只能選擇 愛你 或者 更愛你
37.人人都觉得永远会很远 其实它可能短暂得你都看不见
38.妈妈说人最好不要错过两样东西,最后一班回家的车和一个深爱你的人 。
38.时间仍在,是我们在飞逝。
39.我允许你走进我的世界,但不许你在我的世界里走来走去..
40. 我爱你时,你才那么闪耀,我不爱你时,你什么都不是

Tuesday 23 March 2010

LOST*

坐在考场上
每个人都在忙着填写...
唯独我一人...
放空
发呆
脑袋里却是一片空白
头痛得让我真的很想撞墙
根本完全没办法思考
一个个离开考场
除了感叹自己读得不够好
还能怪谁?
我是应该放弃自己的理想
找个铁饭碗就罢?
还是坚持于自己选择的...
不轨路
一开始坚持的我...
已经开始犹豫...
怀疑自己的能力...

矛盾
我开始
又回到那种前途茫然的感觉...
不知趋向的感觉又回来了...
开始担心....

能吗?
我有这个能力吗?
有资格吗?
讨厌那茫然的感觉!!!

Tuesday 16 March 2010

everything is over...RESERVED~

from last week til now..
many things i got 2 handle...
most important is of course my own feeling n tot...
i duno whether i hav overcum it...
but wat i can say is...
though seems bak 2 normal...
but my feeling is not...
i'm no longer as last time...
i hope 2 b mature...
but act i'm not...
juz feel like ownself is childish...
though hate myself 2 b like tat...
but i din hav d tot 2 change...
duno y..
lazy 2 ask bout others...
lazy 2 noe...
lazy 2 express...
mayb tat is so called a RESERVED me...
tat's not bcoz i dun1 2 express...
is bcoz...
i scare d feeling of getting hurt...
not bcoz i'm difficult 2 understand...
is i prevent from being understand...
i duno how i pass through those high skul years...
but now...
it is...
i bcum a reserved person~
a "try 2 being un-understand" ppl

Wednesday 3 March 2010

TEST,assignment,REVISION,event,DUTY...

oredi march...
my as exam cuming..
but not enuf time 4 me...
preparing 4 test...
doing plenty of assignment...
doing recision 4 as exam...
preparing 4 event...
sumore duty at tat booth...
reli not enuf time...
i oredi try 2 reduce my sleeping time...
but y time is stil not enuf???
all thing cum together now...
too many thing waiting 4 me 2 do...
but which should i finish it 1st???
now oredi cramp...
stress...
stil able 2 stand up???
tis is wat i question myself...

Tuesday 2 March 2010

26,27,28/02/10

在这三天...
发生很多事...
当然...
开心的...
不开心的都有...
只是...
我已经克服了...

26/02/2010
玩到超爽的...
竟然赶三场...
1-去海塘吃火锅..
2-去station1帮姐和庆文庆祝生日...
3-回家会另一群在我家开派对...

27/02/2010
累到~
当然还是要做功课...
但是...
才做2题...
跑去学校...
因为另一天是pesta...
就去8一下咯...
晚上吃饭过后又跑去...

28/02/2010
pesta咯...
在学校玩了一整天...
所以...
功课也没做到咯...
咳~

这三天是真的很开心...
但是...
有点累咯~
还会有下次吗?

Friday 26 February 2010

should b a happy day...

i juz tel kim today...
everytime i plan go out wif my classmate...
i reli extremely happy...
but y tis time seems so miserable..
mayb coz my failed planning...
reli sad...
extremely sad...
1st time i feel so...
though i noe is no1 fault...
juz me...
doing those stupid stuff...
making other in trouble...
but im ok wif changing of plan...
actually i got my own plan...
but tis wil only be shown after tat so called celebration...
i reli felt sorry 4 those i make in trouble...
sorry...
i apologise 4 it...
1st time i feel sad going out wif classmate...
but im not blaming u guys but MYSELF...
for those stupid planning n stupid decision...
anyway...
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO JIE & DEVIL kv

Saturday 20 February 2010

我不知道...
自己是真的累...
还是...
因为我希望逃避...
我很累...
想到就累...
听到都累...
一天我不知道自己可以讲几次...
甚至...
这个累字...
连睡觉都会出现...
真的累吗?
连我自己都不知道...
或则...
从心灵上我是真的累了...
累了...
也表示厌倦吗?
还是已经不希望在面对...
如果是...
我想我的累...
应该是1+2吧...
因为我真的累了~

初三开始的故事...

初三...
一切都没改变...
唯一有变的就是...
家里煮生锅...
但是本人...
竟然厉害到...
从下午3点多睡到晚上8点多...
当然起身就让自己先精神一点...
吃点东西...
去邻居家拜年...

初四...
下午2点就去朋友家拜年...
然后赶着回来...
载我妹回她的camp site...
刚好...
顺便上云顶咯...
超赞的...
人多到不能走..
车多到没位放...
好彩本人不是去玩的..
纯粹在那里走走...
买东西...
原来花钱是很开心的...
只是会有候义诊...
就是钱包在流血...
可怜~
爽在...
本人要买很久的手表总于买到了...
当天就离开了...
真可惜...
因为雾大...
风大...
当然就冷啊...
所以...
真的超赞的...

到了初五...
其实我也没在忙什么啊...
为什么没有人找我的?!
闷!!!
还好...
2点又去拜年...
过后赶去亲戚家...
就回家啦...
吃饭时间...
竟然是跟邻居吃饭叻...
8点就出去了咯...
载翠雯& sayli...
然后去很久没见的mimi家...
mimi教我们玩超多牌的...
真的爽...
到12点正...
刚好送sayli到家门口...
呵呵...

初六...
也就是刚刚过的昨天...
实在有够累...
天时,地理,人和...
没有一样是跟着plan的...
我的错...
对不起...
麻烦到你们了...
还浪费了你们的时间...
在这里说声抱歉...
对不起.../

Tuesday 16 February 2010

before CNY start til now...

during friday...
my bio lecturer giv her last lecture...
it's reli too hard 4 me 2 concentrate...
though i noe is her last lecture...
coz i reli feel sleepy...
vy vy vy sleepy...
den start on wif my chem lecture...
no heart 2 listen at all...
coz my mind keep telling me is time going 2 celebrate CNY...
i was reli happy coz thr is plan 4 our class...
reli reli happy n hope tat day wil cum...
i din reliase tat actually wheni go out wif my classmate...
i would b so happy...

when cum bak 2 kjg...
i go bak 2 my secondary skul...
part of my interesting life happen here...
no worry bout money...acedemic...relationship...
i found out i reli enjoy it vy vy vy much...
until i cant reliase tat my fren is not my family...
though d way v talk n chit-chatting might b bit keep zat each other..
but i used 2 it...
it's d way v communicate...
through our heart but not acting...
missing those day v study 2gather..
reli miss it...

but...
start from d 1st day of CNY...
i found out it's quiet boring...
keep chit-chatting wif relative n eat n watch tv...
n tats all 4 whole day...
yala...
as i remember...
i go pray in d morning den go visit others house lor...
den go watch movie n reach home @ bout 12++...
seems syok...
but actually not...

den d 2nd day...
i try my vy best 2 sleep late...
til 10++ oredi wake...
plan 2 go visit de...
plan fail again n watch tv until 7++ den go relative house again...
den eat steamboat thr n tats all...
cum bak...watch tv,take bath...
on9 plan 4 d "CNY event"...
den blogging...
reli scare tomoro wil boring as 2day...


there's alot of movie waiting 4 me...
but...
who's going 2 watch wif me?
BORING CNY!!!

Wednesday 10 February 2010

oredi 1 month...

juz 1 2 express in blog...
though since long time ago i keep mention 1 2 hav post here...
but i fail to do so...
my laziness...
can i blame u?
or i should blame myself?

during lat sem holiday til now oredi feb of 2010...
even CNY cuming...
many ting happen...
thr is happiness...
but thr is sadness n anger...

i duno wat happen to me...
tis sem...
no matter in acedemic,family or friendship...
i cant handle any of it...
my mind keep telling me i cant do well in anything...
everything cum 2 me juz mess up...
i'm no longer able 2 hav time management...
no longer did well in my fav subject,
no longer gud understanding in acedemic...
none of it i can do well...
nothing tat i can handle well...
even juz simply chatting i'll hurt ppl wif my word...
my EQ seems droping...
keep on dropping...
confidence,hardwork all gone...
me is no longer a friendly me...
it seems like i'm going 2 lost everthing...
i noe is my own fault...
i noe tats d truth...
but i reli cant control myself...
unless LEAVE ME ALONE....
i dun1 hurt any1 again...
FREN>
juz leave me alone...
thx 4 all...

Saturday 9 January 2010

真正爱你的男孩

真正爱你的男孩……

真正爱你的男孩,一下子说不出真正爱你的理由,只知道自己顾不上注意别人。

真正爱你的男孩,其实总惹你生气,却发觉不了他到底做错了什么。

真正爱你的男孩,很少当面赞美你,可是心里肯定你是他最棒的。

真正爱你的男孩,会在你忘记回复他短信时狠狠地的说你一顿。

真正爱你的男孩,只可能在你一个人的面前流眼泪,当你触摸到它们时,也触摸到了那颗只为你跳动的心。

真正爱你的男孩,会默默地记住你不经意说过的话,在某时某刻重复它们。

真正爱你的男孩,不会轻易做出承诺,因为他想让自己成为你心中说话最算话的男子汉,只想给你最可靠最安全的幸福。

真正爱你的男孩,总告诉你不要胡思乱想,因为其实他在为你们谋划着最美丽真实的未来。同时让你无忧无虑地等待他要给你的惊喜。

真正爱你的男孩,可能不像你一样清楚的记得某些纪念日,他觉得爱你是每时每刻的,并不是靠这几天简单的日子。

真正爱你的男孩,不会轻易对你当面说“我爱你”,因为他为你做过的每件事都已经这么说了。除非在非常时刻,为了不让你无端地误解他。

真正爱你的男孩,总觉得有些话只说一遍就够了,因为你已经了解他的心。说得多了,他会觉得不珍贵。

真正爱你的男孩,当你发脾气时,只会不做声地听你把火发完,然后慢慢地说,你明天有课吗?早点睡吧。

真正爱你的男孩,不懂当你生气挂掉电话后应该立即打来,过了若干小时后会发条短信问你消气了没有?如果你质问他为何这么久才打来,他会理直气壮地说,你生气时我的解释一定没有用,等你的火消了,我的解释才有效果。

真正爱你的男孩,总是叫你小孩子,可是每次他做什么重大的决定,却总想先听听你的建议。

真正爱你的男孩,不喜欢玩具小毛熊,却一直把你送他的小熊放在床头。

真正爱你的男孩,当和你发生争执时,总是控制不了地先妥协,先承认“我错了”,过后发来短信以“神经病”开头,以“宝贝”结尾。事实上你也清楚,这次是你有点无理取闹。

真正爱你的男孩,很想很想你时,也会买玫瑰送你,傻傻地等着你,却不知道自己捧的是月季。没关系,他的心里送的是玫瑰。

真正爱你的男孩,嘴巴都不甜,但是他的吻能传递他所有的热情。

真正爱你的男孩,当听到你对他讲很“酸”的话时,他反而会装地很正经,其实心里很甜很甜。

真正爱你的男孩,如果不能经常见到你,他会让自己忙碌起来,为了不去想你,因为他知道一想你将会一发不可收拾



paste from desmond blog...

女孩你会哭吗,男孩你会这样做吗?


女孩给男孩发了条短消息:如果家里穷困潦倒到只有一碗稀饭面对着我们两人,你会把稀饭里的米给我吃吗?

男孩回消息:这还用说吗?但是我认为一个真正爱那个女孩的男孩,就不应该让自己心爱的女人过如此生活。

女孩回消息:可有一个人的回答是这样!他说,不!我会把整碗的米连同稀粥都给她喝。这短短的对话会不会感动所有
女人我不知道,可我却被深深打动。

男孩回消息:那么连这一碗稀粥也没有,那个男人会怎么做呢?!或者有没有想到那一碗稀饭女孩吃了是不是还肚子饿
呢?!

女孩认为,男孩应该像那个男孩那样回答:不!我会把米和稀粥都给你喝!才是真正完美,标准,唯一的答案。

因为男孩没有按女孩的意思回答好这个问题,女孩和男孩背对背睡了一夜,男孩几次想拥她入睡都被女孩拒绝。

上天有时总是有些不尽人意。

后来女孩和男孩走到一起的时候,由于种种原因,他们真的遇上了类似于只有一碗稀饭喝的日子。

那天,男孩悄悄地给女孩留个言:亲爱的,我吃过了,桌上给你留了碗稀饭,你把它喝完。

女孩喝完那晚稀饭,小憩一会的时候。男孩从外面回来,给女孩带回来她喜欢吃的羊肉串,水果,奶茶。

男孩对女孩说,他找了份临时工作,刚挣的钱,老板答应先付一部分工资。说完还拿出口袋的钱在女孩面前晃了晃。

“亲爱的慢慢吃!我已经在外面吃过了。”说完还做了个调皮的鬼脸。

在最困难的那段日子,女孩依旧快乐的幸福着,男孩倒好像由于工作劳累,身体有些不适。

后来,男孩有了工作,女孩和男孩对他们未来的幸福充满美丽的憧憬。

女孩喜欢看电视,看到电视中报道多年前在一场大地震中,一位母亲和孩子被压在废墟下,母亲的奶水被孩子吃尽时,
母亲咬开了自己手上的血管,用自己的鲜血喂孩子,数天后,人们终于扒开废墟下的母子,母亲已经血流殆尽离开了人
世,嘴角的粘着母亲鲜血的孩子带着天真的笑容,红嘟嘟的鲜艳小脸蛋获得了新生。

女孩问男孩,如果我们俩被压在废墟下,你会像那位母亲样用你的血液使我活下来吗?

男孩对女孩的言语间竟有些激动。他对女孩说不要老是有这样那样的怪念头好吗?你是我的女人,我会尽我所能的让我
的女人幸福,在任何你的生命和安全受到威胁的时候,我会不顾一切的保护好你。你是我的最爱,我也不允许你把种种不好的推测用到你的身上,亲爱的。

周末,一个阳光明媚的上午,男孩挽着女孩的手,兴冲冲地逛了一个上午,买了好多女孩喜欢吃的零食和她喜欢的衣服
走在回家的路上。

两个幸福的小人儿,再穿过一个路口,就能到达他们共同构筑的爱的小巢——他们幸福的小天堂。

男孩一手挽着女孩,一手拎着买来的东西,男孩在前,女孩在后,两人走在斑马线上,就要穿过马路了,突然一辆右转
弯车辆,直直地向离男孩一步之遥的后面的女孩疾速驶来,眨眼的功夫,汽车就要撞到女孩。

“砰!”的一声闷响后紧跟着汽车紧急刹车的声音。

一切来得那么突然,被撞者轻飘飘的飞向两米开外。路面上是一片刺眼的鲜血的红。

“不!不要!”由于惊吓刚刚回过神来的女孩,歇斯底里地凄惨叫声撞击着每个围观者的耳膜。

女孩明白,汽车本来是撞向她的,在常人来不及反应的一刹那间的零点几秒里,男孩却惊奇地把她推开了,自己倒在血
泊里。
女孩哭喊着扑到男孩身边,男孩浑身是血,女孩大声地呼唤着男孩名字,围观者说没用了,已经试过男孩没有呼吸了。

女孩不相信,继续呼唤着男孩的名字,男孩竟然奇迹般的睁开了眼睛,看了女孩一眼,带着安详地微笑,永远闭上了眼
睛。
女孩明白,男孩在生命的最尽头还在苦苦挣扎,拼尽最后一丝气力看到自己的亲爱的小女人安然无恙了,才放心地闭上
眼睛。

那是个多雨的季节,到处充满了潮湿,雨水把天地连成雾蒙蒙一片。

两个人构筑的爱情小巢,现在只剩下女孩一个人,女孩浮想起以前两人在一起的点点滴滴。

女孩后悔那次不该因为男孩没有按自己的意思回答她问题,背对着他睡了一夜,后悔男孩几次欲拥她入睡,都被她拒
绝。她现在好想紧紧的拥着男孩,把那一夜的背对背补回来,可是再也无法也不可能补回来。

女孩习惯了逛马路时,身边有一个人紧紧的握住她的手,不用担心那些川流不息的汽车。男孩总是自己走在有汽车的一
方让她走在远离汽车的另一边。女孩好想再抓住那种安全感,可是怎么抓也抓不住。

女孩睡觉前,习惯了,有人给她唱着歌讲着故事入睡,现在再也没有人为她唱歌讲故事,她总是难以入睡。

女孩睡觉时,喜欢踹被子,男孩总是在每一次她踹掉被子时及时的醒来给她重新盖好。现在那个人再也不能哪怕为她盖
一次被子。

女孩喜欢吃零食,男孩每次从外面回到家里总能给她个小谗猫带来惊喜,安慰她的小肚肚,现在她的小肚肚多少天再也
没有人安慰。

女孩喜欢吃瓜子,喜欢吃板栗,喜欢吃橘子,却不喜欢剥皮儿,女孩每次畅快淋漓的大吃特吃完瓜子,板栗,橘子后,
男孩的面前总是堆起一堆果皮山,现在由于剥皮吃那些东西太费劲,她好久没敢碰那些想吃不能吃的好东西。

女孩现在有太多的不习惯,她只能学着慢慢的把不习惯变成习惯。

女孩整理遗物时发现了一个献血证,上面写着男孩的名字。奇怪的是她从来不知道,男孩在一个月连续献了三次血,上
面献血的日期更让她震惊,她清楚地记得,永远也忘不了那段他们最艰苦的日子。她明白了那段日子男孩的身体为何那
么虚弱,明白了男孩“预付的工资”的含义,明白了男孩是用偷偷献血的换来钱给她买来她喜欢吃的东西。

女孩继续整理遗物时,发现了一份报纸,意外地发现那场大地震时,那位伟大的母亲就是男孩的母亲,那个幸运获得生
命的孩子就是男孩,而男孩又把这份幸运给了她。

女孩泪水涟涟。

Friday 8 January 2010

是不是處女很重要嗎?很感人的故事...真的。。‏

莫名其妙的和她上床,也糊裡糊塗的接受她。明知自己不是她第一個男人,但為了孩子,不得不娶她。就因為不是她第一個男人,他一直懷疑肚子裡的孩子真是他的嗎?
 
   孩子出世了,和他如同一轍,宛如一個模子印出來一樣,他才承認這是他的對她的疑心也隨著一句句的~~孩子跟你好像。~~漸漸降低。

    今天是他們結婚第二年,沒有鮮花,沒有甜言蜜語,當然也不會有燭光晚餐。淑靜照往常一樣靜靜地在家等候柏正,已經十點了,他還沒有回來。這是當初她選擇他 的其中原因之一,但是她萬萬沒想到,博正的處女情節會那麼深。從結婚到現在,只要淑靜拒絕柏正,柏正都會說:「又不是沒經驗,裝什麼處女。嫌我技術比妳以 前的男人差?」可是淑靜想要解釋,柏正又說:「好啦!好啦!我知道啦!妳不用說了,正妳學歷比我高,口才比我好嘛!

   就這樣,淑靜過著做不能做,說不能說的婚姻生活。她好痛苦。他們平均一個月回去鄉下一次,看公婆也看小孩。小孩已經一歲了,稍微會扶著東西走路。淑靜除 了逗弄小孩之外,還掃地,洗衣;中午她把飯煮好叫大家來吃。小姑舀了一些蘿蔔湯起來「媽,妳今天怎麼把蘿蔔切的這麼大塊?」「那是妳二嫂煮的。」婆婆把責 任推給媳婦。淑靜的大伯看到淑靜好像快哭出來,連忙說:「你們怎麼那麼笨,蘿蔔切大塊煮起來才好吃,妳沒看到外面的人賣蘿蔔湯都是切這樣的嗎?」

   淑靜看著大伯站出來替自己圓場,可是博正一句話也不說,心不禁冷了下來。過年期間,許多親戚都來到鄉下拜年,有的還會住下一,二天;淑靜坐在小板凳,看 著像一座小山的衣服不禁皺起眉頭。剛剛大伯看到淑靜抱著一大桶衣服往外走,就說丟到洗衣機就好了,可是婆婆說衣服用洗衣機洗會變皺,而且這些衣服都是新 的,一定要用手洗;淑靜只好把衣服抱到外面洗。迎著冷風,把手伸進冷的像冰的水,又抽起來,搓著雙手;她咬緊牙根把衣服一件一件的在洗衣板上搓洗,當她弄 好時已經是二個
小時後。

   晚上婆婆在樓上對著公公發牢騷,「她瞎了是不是?一隻襪子也不知道要拿去洗,還把博文的衣服染成這樣。」「淑靜又不是故意的,那隻襪子塞在桶子旁邊,她 可能沒看到;博文的衣服就不要穿了嘛!幹嘛這樣大驚小怪的。」公公在旁幫淑靜說情。婆婆在樓上講話,幾乎樓下的她們都有聽到,淑靜只能坐在那裡接受審判。

   這幾天大伯帶著女朋友去墾丁玩,順道來博正的家住一晚;因為淑靜在果菜批發商裡做會計,所以早上六點就要上班。大伯一早起來聽博正說淑靜去上班了,他和 女朋友心想淑靜大概還沒吃早餐吧!兩人買了一份早餐送給淑靜吃。淑靜接著這一份熱騰騰的早餐,眼淚差點留下來,連她自己的老公都沒這麼體貼。

   淑靜懷孕了,連續好幾天晚上電話鈴聲響,博正去接,對方都沒有出聲音,最後博正有聽到一個男人的聲音。他掛斷電話,「妳在外面交男朋友?」你在說什麼 啊?」淑靜一臉疑惑。「妳給我戴綠帽子,是不是?這肚子裡的孩子是誰的?」博正的臉上寫滿了忌妒,懷疑。「這肚子裡的孩子當然是你的,還會有誰的?」淑靜 撫著肚子想保護她。「我的?妳想騙誰,男的找到這裡來了。走,去把她拿掉。
走。」

   拉起淑靜往外走。「博正,你不要這樣好不好?就為了一通莫名其妙的電話,你就判我這種行你太不可理喻了。」淑靜甩開他的手,摸著被他拉疼的地方。    我不可理喻?對,我就是不可理喻,我就是不要這個孩子,走,去拿他。」博正不管淑靜的掙扎,硬把她帶到醫院拿掉孩子。淑靜萬念俱灰躺在床上哭,博正連一句 安慰話也沒。

   就這樣,只要淑靜一懷孕,他就帶她去拿掉孩子。淑靜的媽媽遠從花蓮來看淑靜,她看到淑靜消瘦的身材,面無血色的臉龐,問她,「淑靜,妳是沒在吃,是不 是?怎麼瘦那麼多「有呀!」「有?有會那麼瘦,簡直不成人樣。」媽媽捨不得的說。淑靜把事情從頭到尾說給媽媽聽,媽媽聽的大發雷霆,「跟他離婚,我們家這 一口飯給妳。」「媽,妳不要生氣啦!這是我選的,我就該承擔。「妳怎麼那麼傻,當初為什麼不告訴媽媽,媽媽可以帶妳去做手術。」「我也沒想那麼多。」

   那妳現在怎麼辦?一懷孕就拿掉?妳不知道這比生小孩還要傷身體嗎?」媽媽真擔心才二十二歲的淑靜怎麼過!未來幾十年的婚姻生活?「媽,我也不知道該怎麼 辦?」她喑喑咽咽的哭起來。媽媽拍拍她的肩,「別哭,媽媽帶妳去醫院裝避孕器。既然博正不愛惜妳,妳要愛惜妳自己,知道嗎?」

   淑靜利用果菜市場休假期間回去看小孩,小姑常常向她提起一個男孩子。淑靜了解小姑戀愛了,可是那個男孩竟比小姑小三歲,公婆當然不答應。二日來,她觀察 小姑每天早上都會從皮包裡拿個像避孕藥丸的東西吃,淑靜又不敢私自打開小姑的皮包,只好回去時再告訴博正。「真有這種事?」博正不大相信。「這只是我的猜 測。博正,你要不要叫小姑來我們這邊問看看?」「嗯~我會打電話給她,先騙她說要帶她去玩,等她來了再問吧!」博正拿電話家,終於她上勾了,就等她星期日 來的時候再說。

   「二哥,二嫂,我來了。」博美一進門就找他們。看到小姑來了,淑靜好高興,「妳來了呀!來,坐。」博正從房裡出來,「坐車會不會累?」博美接下二嫂的飲 料,「不會,二哥,你要帶我到哪裡去玩?」「看妳想去哪裡玩,二哥就帶妳去;不過妳要老實的回答二哥的問題。」博正神色凝重的說。「幹嘛!二哥,表情那麼 嚴肅,好吧!你問。」博美不知死活的喝著飲料。「聽爸媽說妳交了一個男朋友?」「嗯!」「而且還小妳三歲?」「嗯!」「你們進展到什麼地步了?牽手?接 吻?還是已經……發生關係?」「我…..」博美不知該怎麼說?

   博正看到妹妹的表情和支支吾吾的說不出話來,大概也知道答案。「爸媽絕不會答應妳嫁給一個小妳三歲的男人,妳知道吧!」「我頂多不嫁。」博美嘔氣的說。 「不嫁?就跟那個混小子一直鬼混下去?」博正對著妹妹吼。從來沒有被哥哥罵過的博美,哭了起來。淑靜坐在她旁邊安慰博美:「小姑,妳哥哥是關心妳,女人總 是老的比較快,他怕到時妳嫁過去,人老珠黃時,那個男孩子會拋棄妳,了解嗎?」

   「二嫂,我知道,可是我沒辦法斷啊!我把一切都給他了。」博美講到這裡越哭越大聲。沒有關係,二嫂帶妳去做處女膜手術,只要妳跟他不再往來,好不好?我 們可以再重新開始?」淑靜抱著她。過了三個月,博美和那個男孩子總算不再往來,淑靜陪著博美去一家整形外科做處女膜整形回到家,博美拉著淑靜的手,「二 嫂,謝謝妳。」淑靜只是笑一笑。「博美,妳二嫂已經帶妳去做了手術,以後不管怎樣都不能再隨便和男人上床,除非新婚之夜才可以,知不知道?」「二哥,我知 道啦!」博美答應二哥,經過這次教訓,她不會再重蹈覆策了。

   過了一年,博美經由朋友介紹認識了一個男孩,交往半年,男方說他三十二歲年紀不小了,要到博美的家提親,博美也答應。訂婚後,男孩子都會暗示博美想要進 一步的發展,但是博美想起二哥的叮嚀,都拒絕他。自從淑靜帶著博美去做手術後,兩人的關係比姊妹還要親。3月後博美嫁出去了,淑靜很擔心博美的整形手術不 知道會不會成功?在博美上禮車前,小聲的說:「小姑,明天早上記得打電話給我。」

   一早,淑靜就待在電話旁等候,婆婆來叫淑靜去掃地,洗衣,博正都會替淑靜回答:「媽,我來就好。」婆婆看著他們兩人感情什麼時候變這麼好,「不用了。」 說完就走。終於鈴聲響了,淑靜馬上接起電話,「喂,小姑……成功了嗎?…真的……好,再見。」「怎樣?有成功嗎?」博正緊張的問她。「嗯!成功了。」淑靜 笑一笑。博正高興的抱著淑靜,「謝謝妳。」推開了博正,淑靜苦笑著,「不用謝我,我只是不想再有第二個吳淑靜。」說完就拿起掃把掃地。

   博正聽完淑靜的話,才知道自己傷害她有多深。他下定決心,從現在開始,他要好好的愛她。淑靜最近這幾個月的月經都不順,不是太早就是太晚,她不在意;直 到這次的月經血流量多的讓她雙腳發軟,她才去看醫生。黃太太,妳這種情形已經多久?」醫生看到淑靜從內診室出來,問她。淑靜坐在椅子上,「大概將近一年 了。」「妳怎麼拖那麼久才來?妳有拿過小孩吧?刮除不乾淨,再加上傷到子宮壁,妳的子宮裡長瘤,妳最好盡快開刀,要不然對妳不好喔!」醫生建議她。

   「醫生,那瘤是良性的還是惡性的?」「這要等妳開刀後拿去檢驗才知道。」她六神無主的坐在客廳,連博正回來了她也不知道。博正脫下外套,看淑靜呆呆的坐 在那裡一動也不動,親一下她的臉,為了公司的事心情不好?」被突來的親吻驚醒的淑靜,一想到她和博正好不容易才剛開始的甜蜜生活,萬一在開刀中不幸走了, 那她怎麼走的開?「妳怎麼哭了?什麼事讓妳這樣苦惱?」博正擦擦她的淚。「我要開刀。」「開刀?為什麼要開刀?」博正看她好好的。

   「因為以前拿孩子太多次了,刮除不乾淨,再加上傷到子宮,我的子宮裡長瘤。」淑靜把醫生診斷的話說給博正聽。博正不敢相信自己以前的作為竟然造成淑靜現 在的傷害那麼大,「什麼時候開刀?我陪妳。」「不用了,以前我生病你也沒陪我,這次我自己去就好。」淑靜不敢奢望。「淑靜,妳不要這樣好不好?我陪妳去, 從頭到尾陪妳。」博正為自己的不是開始後悔。

   開刀房前,淑靜的媽媽看到博正緊張的走來走去,不屑的說:博正,你現在走來走去是走真的?還是走給別人看的?要不是你醋桶那麼大,逼著淑靜一懷孕就拿 掉,她今天會躺在開刀房任人宰割嗎?我是把話跟你講在前面,淑靜有個三長兩短,可別怪我不客氣。」博美看到親家母生氣的樣子,連忙出來替哥哥說情,「親家 母,我二嫂不會有事的,二哥最近也對二嫂很好。」「最近才對她好有什麼用,平時不珍惜。」淑靜的媽媽替女兒打抱不平。「媽,對不起,我知道錯了,請妳原諒 我。」博正一臉慚愧的站在丈母娘面前讓她數落。

   過了二個小時「吳淑靜的家屬」護士門口喊。看到有人走過來,「你們是吳淑靜的家屬?她已經在恢復室,看誰要過去陪她?」淑靜的媽媽雖然想要進去,但她知 道目前淑靜最想看的人是誰,所以就叫博正進去。博正跟著護士來到淑靜的病床旁,淑靜的麻醉藥劑還沒退,躺在病床上像睡著一樣,消瘦的臉經過開刀更加沒有血 色。博正深呼吸盡量不讓眼淚留下來。他聽護士的話,盡量跟淑靜說話不要讓她睡著。淑靜隨著麻醉藥劑漸漸退了,身體的病痛也越來越難過,她拉扯床巾,一直搖 頭喊痛。

   博正一夜沒睡陪著她,這就是他種下的孽,也是他要承受的果。可是淑靜受的苦比他還多。第二天,醫生來探房,簡單的和淑靜問幾句話後,叫博正出來。「你太 太的檢驗報告出來了,是惡性腫瘤,而且已經轉變成癌症。」博正不敢相信,「會不會檢驗錯了?」醫生搖搖頭,「黃先生,她剩下的日子不多,好好陪她吧!」看 到博正進來,淑靜問他,「博正,醫生跟你說什麼?怎麼那麼久。」「沒事,他只是說這幾天傷口好了就可以出院了,我剛剛去打電話給媽媽,告訴她這個好消 息。」「喔!是這樣。我想睡了,可不可以請你幫我把床搖下來一點。」「好。」博正慢慢地把床搖下來,看著淑靜睡了,眼淚一滴滴的掉。

   「你還我女兒來…還我女兒來……她好好的一個人嫁到你們家,做牛做馬,毫無怨尤……你還這樣對待她……你還是人嗎?」博正跪在靈前,任由丈母娘怎麼打, 怎麼罵,他都不還手也不還口。是他對不起她,是他害她年紀輕輕的就這麼走了。「親家母,別打了,我知道這對妳很不公平,可是人死不能復生,妳就別再傷心 了。」博正的爸爸扶起她。「把她送回花蓮。」淑靜的媽媽很痛心的說。博正的媽媽一聽到馬上反對,「「不行,親家母,她嫁到我們家來就是我們的人了,怎麼可 以把她送回去?」

   你們的人?你們有當她是你們的人嗎?大冷天的叫她一個人洗一大桶的衣服,對她喚東喚西的,一下子要她做這個,一下子要她做那個,我看她是你們的僕人 吧!」 淑靜的媽媽把淑靜回娘家時說的苦處全說出來。「妳……」博正的媽媽說不出話。「我地已經買好了,她生前都沒人疼,死後你們會去看她嗎?」媽,我求求妳,把 她留下來好不好?」博正跪在淑靜的媽媽面前。「博正,不是我要把你們分開,可是你有沒有想過,當你硬拖著淑靜去墮胎時,淑靜也是像你現在求我的樣子在哀求 你,求你相信她,求你讓她生下孩子,可是你是怎麼對待她的?她每次一懷孕,你就帶她去墮胎。」博正的爸爸一聽到親家母的話,走過去揍博正一拳,「你這個畜 生,你竟敢這樣對待淑靜,看我怎麼修理你。」
他一拳一拳的揍在博正的身上,直到博文強拉開爸爸。「親家母,妳帶淑靜回去吧!」博正的爸爸答應她。

   今天是淑靜的忌日,博正牽著孩子來花蓮祭拜她。淑靜的媽媽正彎著腰拔著雜草,口中念念有詞的對著女兒說話。聽到一聲「媽。」她回過頭看到博正和孫子,不 理會他們,繼續手上的動作,「你來這裡做什麼?你不覺得已經來不及了嗎?」博正把鮮花放在瓶子裡,因為淑靜在過世前,曾對他說:「博正,我沒有作對不起你 的事, 你要相信我。萬一我死了,可以送我一對鮮花嗎?」

   即使是每天一束花他都願意,只要淑靜可以活過來可是已經來不及了。「這時淑靜的媽媽從袋子裡拿出一本厚厚的書交給博正。~我遇到那個叫博正的男孩,我! 好喜歡他…………今天騎車和人家相撞,右腳的傷口好大,痛死了,全身酸痛,而且月經也來了,好奇怪,才十天而已怎麼就來了?……………~~博正今天帶我去 海邊玩,全身曬的紅通通的,下次要去海邊一定要記得擦防曬油………
    ~~昨天晚上和博正睡在一起,第一次好痛喔!可是為什麼我沒有流血呢?奇怪,大家不是都說會流血嗎? 博正會不會誤以為我不是處女呀?…
    ~~糟糕,月經已經超過一個月都沒來,怎麼辦?會不會是懷孕了?………….~~博正聽到我懷孕了,說要娶我,我好高興,可是他是因為愛我才娶我?還是因為 肚子裡的小孩呢?……~~明天就要結婚了,我一定會好好的愛他,也會愛他的家人………淑-靜-」博正概略的看完整本日記,大聲的喊著她的名字。對不起,我 對不起妳。妳原諒我好不好?淑靜……..」他跪在地上把頭一直撞墓
碑。「起來吧!她最愛的人是你,每次她回來說起你家的事,雖然很傷心,但她都一一承受起來。只要你相信她,我想她在九泉之下會瞑目的。」 淑靜的媽媽拉他起來.博正坐在地上,扯著頭髮,「我現在才相信她,已經太慢了。」

   淑靜的媽媽拉下博正的手,「博正,不會太慢,淑靜這孩子心很軟, 只要你真心誠意的相信她,她一定會原諒你的。」> >每年,淑靜的墓前都會有一個男人,彎著身,拔著雜草,口中喃喃有辭的對她說話。

> > 思念總在分手後.... > 為何總在失去後,才發現那是你的最愛!!
       男人就是這樣,總是希望自己的女人是處女....第一次就是要給他!!但他們有沒有想過,若是處女又不見得是第一次...(可以去重做一個), 若不是處女又不一定不是第一次...(可能不小心傷到)
話又說回來,男人希望自己的老婆是處女,自己又喜歡在婚前多玩幾個,這不是很矛盾嗎? 由此可見,男人最自私....(當然也有少部份優質男性)
但願像這樣的故事,能警惕各位男士,別讓它發生在你身上... 好好愛惜你身邊的她吧
> > 愛她 疼她 多照顧她。。。